It's just Great What God has done to create us.
Simply He made us so wonderful with our limitations.

I was often killed by my curiosity. I keep thinking it would be nice if I have a gift to know what people think or say in their heart. So if I meet someone and I know he / she think bad of me than I could just go away. Or If you walk alone on the street, then you know that someone not far from you have bad intention to either rape you or rob you then you could just run away and be safe. For love life if you have a crush on someone, instead of guessing how he feels about you, If you could read his mind than you know you should go on or go away. In my thought a gift like that is perfect.

But then, I started to think the impact of the gift. Can you imagine when you are walking and you hear hundreds or thousands voices from people’s hearts. OK, lets imagine maybe among the voices are asking for help or planning to rob a bank, or killing someone, or having sex tonight hehehe. But the point is finally I decide it would be very annoying, confusing or even make you desperate because you just don’t know what to do with those voices. Then (you know, I’ll never give up on this) I know that I need a button, so whenever I want I could just turn it off or on. That’s a brilliant idea and I keep desperately wanted God to grant me the gift. It will be very very useful.

One day God taught me about being careful of what you wish for. He let me know how it feels to be gifted of knowing what people think, of course not exactly the same with the description above, but that’s more than enough to make me learn to just trust God in your life.

There is wise word from Dutch, it said, “Sometimes it’s much better if you don’t know about something.”

Finally I fully understand the wise word, God let me know about something that I really curious about. I thought, once I know, then I could find out what to do, how to prevent, or how to fix it The fact was, when I know about it, it hurt me badly. Badly and I was just can’t stop crying and mourning. I was asking why to God. He reminded me the serenity prayer. “God, give me the serenity to accept the things I can’t change, the courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference. Accept this sinful world, as Jesus did, as it is, not like I would have it. Take the hardship as a pathway to peace. Trusting in God, that You will make everything is right If I surrender to Your will.,,,,,”

You know what, actually He created us with limitations, one of the reason is I’m sure to comfort us. Who am I so I could think I could fix something as if I have power to do that. I forgot that my strength which I thought I had can’t make this world, can’t make the sun, can’t create light or dark. Suddenly I just feel silly, I did think that I can control the situation surround me and make it like I want. I thought I can put everything in the right path to get my aim. But I forgot that I JUST NEED TO TRUST GOD, HE WILL MAKE EVERYTHING RIGHT IF I SURRENDER TO HIS WILL. Knowing that He never takes a day off to love me, care me, guide me and bless me in every moment of my life. If He thinks it’s good for me, then He will easily give it to me. But if He thinks it will not good to me then of course He will give me the serenity to accept that. Because I don’t need to know about everything, it will not always bring good to me, even it could make me sad. So, finally I feel grateful, and blessed as I am. I just need to ask and trust God, He will takes care everything for me. Start from now I will learn to stop finding out every time I feel worry about something. I will just pray and let God takes care the business for me. DO YOUR BEST, GOD WILL DO THE REST!

Saturn

It is difficult to say what is impossible, for the dream of yesterday is the hope of today and reality of tomorrow.- Robert Goddard

Hanya dekat kasih Mu Bapa
Jiwa ku pun tenang
Engkau menerima ku
Dengan sepenuh nya

Walau dunia melihat rupa
Namun Kau memandang ku
Sampai kedalaman hatiku

Tuhan inilah yang kutahu
Kau mengenal hatiku
Jauh melebihi semua
Yang terdekat sekalipun

Tuhan inilah yang kumau
Kau menjaga hatiku
Supaya kehidupan
Memancar senantiasa

Prayer for Serenity

God, grant me serenity to accept the things i cannot change, courage to change the things i can, & wisdom to know the difference

Living one day at a time, enjoying a moment at a time

Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace

Taking, as Jesus did, this sinful world as it is, not as i would have it

Trusting that You will make all things right if I surrender to Your will

So that I may be reason ably happy in this life and supremely happy with You forever in the next.

AMEN

Aku tak mau, sungguh tak mau
Semua ini berlalu
atau menjadi semu

Aku berfikir keras dan berencana

Bagaimana harus menghadapi nya

Kuyakinkan diriku, AKU BISA

Walau ku tahu, dalam hatiku, aku meragukan nya

Aku menghitung, waktu demi waktu
Bilakah rasa itu
Menghampiriku, menghancurkanku

Sesak, gundah, gelisah

Ingin kutanya padanya

Apakah kamu merasakannya

Ataukah kamu mengindahkannya

Aku dilema...

Kucoba tipu diriku, ini hanya angin lalu

Tapi aku tak bisa menipu waktu

Terlebih, ku tak bisa menipu hatiku

Tuhan aku lelah!

Aku tak berdaya

Menghadapi kenyataan
Mungkin tak seperti yang aku inginkan

Menghadapi kemungkinan

Menatap kepergiannya

Karena aku ternyata

Bukan yang benar-benar

Diinginkannya....

Happy to be me....

Everyday...

More and more I'm grateful for being me...

I'm happy because my parents are healthy

I'm happy because my bro & sis are also healthy

I'm happy because my lovely dog indeed healthy

I'm happy because i am healthy

I'm happy because i have a job

I'm happy because it's near from my house

I'm happy because eventhough my body is not as in shape as barbie, i don't get anorexia

I'm happy because eventhough my face is not as pretty as angelina jolie, i'm still sweet

I'm happy because i have a straight long beautiful black hair (people told me so)

I'm happy because i have a smooth skin

I'm happy because i have time to wash my comb at my last off day

I'm happy because i still can take my mum shopping

I'm happy because i still can accompany my bro to swim

I'm happy because i can talk to my dad

I'm happy because they love me so much

I'm happy for my comfy room

I'm happy for having a house

I'm happy for having a nice and smart boyfriend

I'm happy for my life

Happy to be me

Happy that knowing no matter what, God will always take care of me...

Thank you God, for a beautiful life You gave me

Ajarkan aku menjadi naif

Senaif dirimu yang masih bisa tertawa

Senaif kebahagiaan kita berdua

karena setiap detik dikala kenyataan

mulai bersinggungan

aku rasakan sakit

yang nyaris tidak tertahankan

Atau ajarkan aku menjadi penipu

apabila ternyata

kau merasakan sakit

dalam tawamu....